When you're a Street puppy, you have to live without lots of things.
Matching socks. And shoes. Even shoelaces. Ties. Black leather gloves. Crisp, white shirts.
But one of the things you miss the most is greeting cards.
They're corny, and usually cloying and insincere, they clutter up the living room coffee table, and the door of the 'fridge, and the hallway table, and they're a mess to clean up after the holiday.
And it's not just the logistics which present a problem to anybody who wants to reach out and touch you - or maybe keep you at arms length - during those sensitive times of the year.
Sensitive as in, It's Christmas, and you got nowhere to live, so forget about a tree and the thousands of lights blinking all over your house and garage.
Or it's Easter. The time to rejoice!! And you just can't fork over the dough to get that big hat with the posies all over it.
Or hey, it's the party holiday, Thanksgiving, and you really want to go to that big holiday dinner with all of the relatives, the party you used to hate, but some of those relatives could well be the reason you're on the street in the first place, what the heck.
So, you're not going to get cards from those people who used to jam your mailbox with cards containing pictures of every thing from jingle bells to pumpkins and easter eggs , mostly because you really don't want them to have to go through the embarrassment when their postman sees they are sending a card to "Maynard, behind the bus station, at the cemetery, in the cardboard box right next to the Smith family."
Yeah, you don't want that.
After all, you do still have some sense of a need for discretion regarding your living arrangements. And it's not going to do anybody who used to know you any good to
know you're living in a box....right next to the Smith family.
Or is it?
Maybe street puppies need to put it right out there.
"Hey, I'm homeless, Sparky. Send me a card sometime, maybe put a few bucks inside."
Now, that takes sand. Yeah, put it right out there. Some real Hallmark moments.
Reverse holiday cards. See, here's how it works. First get a lot of paper from the box beside the xerox machine at the food stamp office.
For Thanksgiving, draw a whole bunch of turkey feathers flying through the air. And a puff of smoke. And at the bottom write. "Whew, that was close. It's wild living in the woods."
For Christmas, Sprinkle some of that star dust stuff on the paper, and maybe some magic marker in red. Draw a cute picture of a reindeer standing over you, trying to eat your ears. And at the bottom, write: "Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here. Instead of me."
And at Easter, hah! The piece de resistance. Draw a big fat bunny, with a cigar in it's mouth.
and carrying a cute puppy in a basket. And a big grin on the Bunny's face. And write:
"We have your puppy. Bring the money to the cemetery and put it into the cardboard box, right next to the Smith family."
You might not want to send the Bunny card through the U.S. Mail.
