Every Street Puppy needs a plan B.
But, here in Homeless Nation, if you're not careful, the failure of Plan A can directly affect your ability to carry out Plan B, thus turning Plan B into Murphy's Law.
You remember Murphy's Law, right? It's the law which states that if anything can go wrong, it will...at the worst possible moment. And that law has a sinister way of mysteriously turning many a situation into one big world of hurt.
We're going to give you a few scenarios here which will further illustrate this amazing trick.
SCENARIO # 1.
You are relatively new to this homeless thing and haven't adjusted yet to street life, and you're , lonely, and you miss the friends you used to have, and the wife who left you when the money ran out, and then a nice person asks you if he could please use your food stamp card to go to the grocery street across the street and buy a few items for his sick mother.
In return for which, he will give you cash for the items, if you will just wait outside the store.
And you say, ok, but you need the card back real fast because you haven't eaten all day, and you need to have some dinner before you keel over.
PLAN A. you give the nice person your food stamp card, along with the pin number and you wait outside the grocery store while he buys a few items for his sick mother, and you think of what you will buy with the cash he will give you in return. Maybe a cold beer.
PLAN B The nice person does not return. You never see the nice person again, or your card. So of course you miss dinner. And you discover the nice person has used up every penny on the card for whatever . You starve for the next month, and maybe for good if the food stamp police find out you were dumb enough to do such a thing, and revoke your food stamp card.
SCENARIO # 2.
You have secured a 31-day bus pass through some nice charitible agency. It was given to you in the hope you could use it for transportation to find a job.
Another nice person asks you if he can borrow your bus pass. He, too, needs to visit his sick mother.
He will just run up to his mother's house, tuck her in and give her some vicodin for the awful pain she's suffering from the mugging and be right back with your bus pass.
PLAN A. You have some doubts because of what happened with your food stamp card, but, you haven't lost your faith in human nature yet, so you loan him the bus pass, and you wait at the bus station for him to return from his mission of mercy.
PLAB B. You stand at the bus station all night, until you are thrown out by the security guard. You have no bus pass, and no way to travel around to find a job. And the nice charitable agency who gave you the bus pass figures out what happened and never gives you another bus pass.
SCENARIO # 3.
You have a cell phone, given to you by yet another charitable agency in hopes you can use the phone to call your OWN sick mother, or maybe..find a job
But, hold on, another nice person is really needing a phone right now. He needs to call his wife who thinks he is cheating on her and smooth things out or she is going to throw him out of their sleeping spot, and throw all of his clothes into the river.
PLAN A. You don't want that to happen, you're homeless, too and you know how important sleeping spots are, and clothing...and wives. You give him the phone and of course, he needs privacy to make the call. So you walk a few feet away.
PLAN B. You turn around, and....he's gone. With your cell phone.
You don't get another phone out of that charitable agency because all of the phone calls placed on that phone over the next few days are made to drug dealers. Who were caught and then turned in the person who made the calls, and he was caught too, with your phone.
And so after you get out of jail you realize you have no cell phone, no bus pass ,and no food stamp card. And now you have a police sheet.
And while you were in jail, somebody took over your sleeping spot, and your clothes are all gone from the hiding place it took you a month to find, and none of the other puppies will talk to you because they think the police may be watching you...and that you might possibly, be a jinx.
And all you have left that means anything at all to you, or has any value, is the watch your late father gave to you. ...on his death bed.
You want to jump into the river.
But wait! Who is that...over there. It's a woman. Hmmm...kind of a good looking one, too.
She's motioning to you. She wants you to sit beside her on the bench.
And she has what looks like a bag of...soda. Yup, cans of cold soda. And some munchies.
PLAN A. You sit beside her. And hey, it's not soda in the bag...it's beer. Cold beer. And she hands you an open container of the cold beer. And she is admiring your watch, and she wants to take a closer look at the watch, and she smiles at you, and gee whiz......when she smiles, she looks so much like your ex wife.....
PLAN B. We probably do not need to go into detail here, do we?
No comments:
Post a Comment