NEW RULES!

We have been watching this tinderbox of a situation between street puppies who panhandle, and street puppies who sell newspapers.

And we have been listening to the racous debate mounted by people who will not distinguish between the acts of selling newspapers and panhandling, and so take out their annoyance and rage on all the street puppies.... and so, with all apologies to Bill Maher, we have come up with this New Rule.

NEW RULE: YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS

If you must panhandle for the cash you need to make ends meet you cannot whine about how badly you are treated by citizens, the law, the media, and politicians, if you persist in giving all of them the ammo they will boomerang right back to you in order to to allow you to shoot yourself in your own foot, by giving them any justification they need to use their power and influence to take away your ability to solicit people for money while in a public place.

You are up against it here, in a rigorous and contentious debate between your so called rights, and the right-of-way.

And you are not helping the situation any by contributing to the stereotypes which the powers that be are trying to use to outsource a decision about this situation onto a voting ballot.

And a vote to end your rights to panhandle on public property would also affect the hundreds of streetpuppies who use public property every Sunday to do their job of selling newspapers.

And yeah, there's a difference between panhandling and selling newspapers.

Just try the hours it takes to put those newspapers together, and the inability to take too many breaks from the burning sun, or the wind and rain and cold and you'll know what we mean.

But times are tough for everybody. And if you need to panhandle, how about a new approach to deal with what is rapidly becoming a diminishing -and aliented- consumer base, and to soften the impact of your activity onto the streetpuppies who are trying to sell their newspapers.

Be a Gentleman - or Lady - while you're trying to separate any pedestrian or motorist from even a small amount of their hard earned money.

Don't go out there with that sign and a vest looking like a mope, carrying a big ole' pity pot, or acting like a Hell's Angel reject.

And for Heaven's sake, do not go wandering into traffic, or pound on a windshield to get attention. You will annoy and frighten the very people you need to impress.

Say "Please," and "Thank You." And "Sir," and "Maam," instead of "Dude," or "Honey."

Do not look pathetic. Do not whine about some relative's operation, or needing train fare to get to a construction job in the next state, or say you haven't eaten anything in two months.

None of those obvious thinly veiled entreaties will pass the sniff test of a seasoned contributor/

If your request is rejected. Be a mensch. Name calling is for losers, and could bring the law down on your head.

And no leering at the ladies. This is not Match.com. This is commerce.

You are offering yourself as a worthy recipient of a part of the consumer's hard earned money.

The consumer is buying a sense of gratification and good will he missed by not calling the 800 number for the poor people in Dubai.

In addition, owing to your new presentation and good manners, the outraged and alienated citizens lawmen, and politicians and reporters who think street puppies are all a bunch of raggedy, spoiled, dishonest, drunken road dawgs will have to eat the next news story portraying all street puppies as, well you know, what we just said

And the hundreds of people who are out there selling newspapers will have an easier time of it, knowing their customers are not going to take out their ire at the panhandlers on them.

Ok, panhandlers and newspaper vendors can shake hands and return to their corners.

And now....how about a New Rule for people who are charged with looking after the needs of street puppies.

It's hard to know where to start.

Hmm. We got street puppies...we got people in charge of helping street puppies.

Ok. Just thought of a real good New Rule for people in charge of helping street puppies

NEW RULE: YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS EITHER


You cannot hire people to run the federal and state and municipal and private agencies and organizations charged with seeing to the needs of homeless people, whose only guiding principle is personal ambition.

And/or who use their largely unchecked power to abuse homeless people or worse, enrich themselves at the expense of the very people they are charged with helping.

It is the height of hypocrisy to blame 'social conditions' for the social problems encountered by the growing number of homeless people who have slid into the numbers columns of the vast ledgers you are maintaining to record and track the problem, without using the powers of those agencies and organizations to make an earnest and rigorous effort to aggressively address those 'social conditions' and actually " give a hand up instead of a hand out."

That slogan, or a version of it, being one of the more popular slogans - or bromides - used by many of the organizations and agencies whose often feckless efforts, or sheer incompetence, and worse, deep pockets of corruption, stand in the way of making any real progress toward restoring homeless people to productive and fulfilling lives.

Yes, there are angels in most of those organizations and agencies, both government and private who are competent and give heart and soul to their seemingly thankless chore.

A chore which so many of them regard as not only a profession, but a calling, and who do their work with oodles of good cheer, and patience, and understanding, and compassion and love.

And, yes, there are monsters.

Bloodless, heartless monsters in some of those organizations and agencies who have long since passed the 'peter principle' mark, or who abuse the homeless in so many ways, or think nothing of enriching themselves with funds and materials which never reach a street puppy.

And the alienated citizens, lawmen, politicians and the media, who are harping about the necessity of keeping supposedly greedy street puppies away from street corners and medians need to keep a closer eye on the activities of some of those monsters in some of those organizations and agencies who should be able to actually help keep panhandling street puppies off those hotly contested street corners and dangerous medians, instead of cooperating with the effort to criminalize them.

And a closer inspection by citizens, lawmen, politicians and the media, into the fiscal chicanery of some of the people in positions of power in those organizations and agencies would make the fiscal interchange between street puppies and their contributors at any street corner or median on any given day - or year - look like chump change.

And one more New Rule.

Nobody gets everything they want. It's called compromise.