A lady entering homeless nation for the first time will likely begin the journey as a street puppy at a temporary or emergency shelter. And it is very likely that shelter will bear the name of an international organization known, indeed revered, for the work it does for the poor and homeless and helpless.
For street puppies in the know, the shelters provided by that organization are simply called, "Sallie."
It's probably a concrete block structure set off the street, closed in by high fences, and bars on the windows. There is usually a guard at the door. Probably a guy who has just discovered a new purpose in life. Kicking hungry and tired street puppies around real good so he can feel better about himself.
If it is check-in time,4:30ish, give or take an ish, there are two lines, men and women, in various stages of sobriety, carrying everything they own either on their back or in raggedy suitcases and plastic bags.
You want the shorter line, the women's line. The women you know didn't get past rush week at the sorority.
Once inside the shelter, you will be confronted by a woman at the desk who will demand your ID, and give you your marching orders...in between phone calls to the local pizza delivery place and her boyfriend.
In this street puppies experience, that woman was short, furious, and frazzled. Kind of like Tweety Pie on steroids.
Her backup, the muscle for the place if you will, was a taller, moody, menacing, squinty eyed rendition of what one can only describe as Darth Vader in a rumpled pant suit, speaking with the raspy voice of Edward G. Robinson.
Kind of like bad cop, bad cop. Looking over the evening's selection of whipping girls.
Lock down, that's right, lock down is at 6ish, give or take an ish. You are officially now in cellblock Sallie.
You are locked down, you make one wrong move, or what is deemed to be a wrong move, you will get the tongue lashing of your life, or the police will be summoned, and you will be either sent to jail or tossed out onto the street.
Yup, you are now in cellblock Sallie. And at the mercy of ole' Tweety Pie and Darth.
And Tweety Pie and Darth have frisked everybody for everything from bobby pins to mouth wash to potato chips. But they haven't checked for alcohol or drugs or weapons.
All of which abound inside the cellblock Sallie
If there isn't enough alcohol to go around, well one of the male attendants will be happy to supply it, in return for, er, personal favors. Not enough drugs for ya? The infamous Mr. Jet waits right outside the gate with enough pills and rock to choke a small goat. It is worth his wait, he will profit nicely through the night
And you will spend that long night in a back so called dorm room. A bare, cramped, noisy, smelly, bug infested place populated with what appears to be the entire cast of the "Road Warrior."
A large, bare, cramped room filled with bunk beds from a nearby jail and crawling with every bug that could find it's way from the south of Mexico. And out in the enclosed smoking area, is "Chubby," the house rat.
Over there, is a woman recently released from prison. She just did nine years for a murder. She has her eye on the teenager in the corner who is digging into her second huge bag of some kind of taco chip things.
Next to teen girl is an elderly person, elderly as in about forty, with stringy hair, and bracelets dangling from her skinny arms and wearing a silk butterfly patterned dress one size too large. She is staring straight ahead at whatever is on her own personal tv screen and cluching her one bag next to her.
Across the room, a gaggle of fairly large women, huddled around a loud boombox. That's against the rules, but the attendants won't mess with groups of large women. That boombox will be playing all night long.
Off to the side, her legs dangling from a top bunk, sits a lumpen, long haired woman in soiled clothing. Also recently released from prison. She has been released on the condition that she become a CI -that's confidential informant for anybody not familiar with jail talk -and she's looking for her next victim. And it doesn't matter who it is, or what they have or have not done, the whole point is for her to stay out of jail and she will drop a dime on anybody, including the innocent.
Two drug dealers are present. And they have another mission. They will keep their eyes open for anything worthy of stealing. They work for Mr. Jet.
The women fall into their own ethnic groups in the room. Black, white, latina. Nobody crosses the line. Some gang signs are flashed through the night, and loud arguments break out on the hour
The women are from varied backgrounds. Mostly urban and from all over the country. Aged 18 all the way up to 75. Many of them seemed to have been headed for this place at some time or other in their lives. There are A lot of bad complexions and missing teeth. Nutrition has not been a big deal in their lives. Nor has has hygiene. And everybody here got a Bad Man story.
The few civilian street puppies who have wandered in for a rest from the street, are just plain scared. Sounds of weeping will sound through the darkness.
You won't get much sleep here tonight.
Nor should you. The list of missing pieces of property in the morning will be long and will include everything from cell phones to cash to clothing to jewelry to, well, anything anybody can nick that will bring in a few bucks.
In the morning, you will be awakened, at 6 AM, and told that you must leave, with all of your belongings no later than 7 AM.
If you are staying for another night, be back on line outside, promptly at 4pm. Or else. Tweety Pie and Darth.
After a breakfast of coffee and whatever chocolate cake or leftover ham sandwich somebody has donated four days ago, you are out the door, toting all of your belongings and searching for someplace to sit for the rest of the day without drawing the attention of the police.
Now, you will probably put up with all of this for a few days. But you'll get your bearings, and if you're real lucky, hook up with some street puppies who know how to make it out on the street.
You should take the street option.
You have a better chance of maintaining your health and sanity outside than inside at Cellblock Sallie.
Your health, your sanity, your possessions, your positive outlook. Your humanity.
Maybe your very life.
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